One fun retort to any religious view is:  
What's cool about this is that it works for every religion.  Buddhist, Christian, Gnostic, Methodist, Vedic, Voodoo... It don't matter.  And since 2/3 of the world disagrees, and they also believe in equally ridiculous site, it's safe to say that no one has the right answer.

It's been a while, my pretties! Things are going great, and I am sort of engaged! More on that later.

For now, let us discuss some lulzygoodtimes. RaptureReady.com is a site dedicated to preparing people for the moment in time where God and/or Jesus hits the eject button and pops all the true believers off the planet and into heaven.  It has every tool you need to be ready!  For example, I took the "Check Your Spiritual Health" test and got this result:

I have no evidence that God does exist.

In most cases, the rejection of the Creator does not result from logical conclusions. The average atheist, if he or she is honest, will cite an emotional motivation for lack of faith in God.

The late Isaac Asimov once wrote: “Emotionally I am an atheist. I don’t have the evidence to prove that God doesn’t exist, but I so strongly suspect that he doesn’t that I don’t want to waste my time.” Now that Mr. Asimov is dead, I suspect he wishes he would have invested time into proving the existence of God.

Most people who do not think God exists betray their stance by arguing with Him. If God is not real, there is no need to be hostile toward Him or toward anyone who believes in Him.

I wouldn't say that there's an emotional blockage that makes me hostile to God (or any other god named God) and believers.  I just think that it's a fairy tail, and it's fun to watch people engaged in theological acrobatics, explaining stuff that makes absolutely no sense.  Apparently, degrading your self worth to a zombie king is the sign of perfect spiritual health.  Moving on, the FAQ is equally fun.

Q: How do you plan to maintain this site after the rapture?

A: I have no master plan for maintaining Rapture Ready all the way through the seven-year tribulation. After the big event takes place, I expect RR to last several months. After all, the internet was designed to survive a nuclear war. It should be able to survive the great catching up of all believers ... Another way to disseminate the site would be to copy the pages onto CDs. This method lacks the worldwide reach of a web server, but it has the advantage of being free from any efforts by authorities to block all sites related to Bible prophecy.

Q: What is Mormonism?

A: Mormonism is a cult that, like most cults, is sprinkled with enough truth to just hint at the truth of the Bible while missing it entirely ... This religion is so chock-full of heresy that I do not even know where to begin with the biblical refutation of its beliefs. One major problem in refuting this religion is that at any time, the beliefs of Mormons can change if the current prophet of the day says that God told him something new. The current prophet always overrides any teaching that has come before.

Could a cloned human being be saved?

First of all, did you ever think that we would discuss an issue such as this? It is a wonder that any person on earth cannot clearly see that we are in the last days. But, to answer your question, the Bible doesn’t mention cloning, so we have to make an educated determination from what we can read.

John 1:3-4, “Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that had been made. In him was life and that life was the light of men.” From that one verse we see that nothing on earth is here for any reason other than the simple fact that Jesus made it so. No human being can possibly create life; only Jesus can.

Yep, you heard it here.  Jesus is in your penis guys!  You THINK that there are cells with genetic information that attempt to pair up with another cell in a female's body, thus encoding the information and creating a new organism, based on the synthesis of the two codes.  Nope, it's a bunch of little Jesuses piloting sperm ships! Here's one more, and this really sums up how stupid this shit is.

What if all of my family and friends do not accept Jesus before the rapture?

The most important thing that you can do is to pray for them. Our heavenly Father loves them even more than you do and He desires their affections and works constantly to draw them unto Himself.

Oh yes, sheep, he loves them so much that he set up a flawed system and shifted the blame onto you and your family.  Yep, he loves them more than you do, but he's also about to toss them into The Pain Chamber for eternity.  Why?  Because he is a jealous gawd, and loves them too much.

People who believe this tripe--that the world is going to end in their lifetime--are no more informed than the people who believed it in their lifetimes.  This has been going on since 33 C.E. ("Common Era" as opposed to "Anno Domini").  Anyway, check it out.  Have fun!

I just acquired a digital voice recorder. Given my now typical lethargy to writing things down, I hope it will psark some kind of lazy muse into generating ideas. I listed them all down, and so far the theme is the actual nature of being. You merely are. There is no past you or future you, there is just you. The nature of time, morality and even math, is just an abstract construct of ideas and concepts. I'd like to write more about this, but I think talking it out lends more to my usual way of thinking as I go.

Maybe this will constitute enough to form a book. I fucking hope so.

I'm in a band called The Pleasies (with a sub-band called The Disappointees), and I found a rehearsal we did a few months ago. Enjoy! (That was an order (PS, this is just a rehearsal!).)

How did you come to start your LJ?
I started when Chandra showed me hers.  I think the first couple of entries were made not knowing how to do anything on it, or not knowing anyone would read it beside her.

How did you find your first friends?
I don't really know, actually.  Oh strike that... I was in London when Jessica and Marci found me... I had met Jess once or twice before and went to high school with Marci, and when I got back, I was invited to a party, and everyone there had a fuckin' LJ.

Are those first friends still on your FL?
Chandra, Karen, Jessica and Marci

How long have you been on LJ?
March 30th, 2002... It's almost a 7 year anniversary, holy shit!

Do you have more friends or communities on your FL?
Friends, but I have a wierd thing about starting my own communities... relayfights this_a_call bigfatpoo_time congenitaldeath of them all, I was proudest of RelayFights because LJ suspended us.

Do you do a lot of friends cuts? 
I don't really care anymore.  I used to when I was more active.

What do you like in an LJ friend?
Someone who can type.  ....and likes me.

What do you dislike?
Someone who doesn't like me.

What would make you un-friend someone immediately? 
Not liking me.

Have you been caught up in a lot of LJ drama?
Sometimes.  Usually it's the inter-friend hearsay shit.  I think it's only happened a couple of times, and between people I actually know, and not just faceless uzerz.

Do RL friends and family members know you have a journal on LJ?
Yeah, my mom used to look at it and freak out.

Do you also have Facebook and if so, what do you prefer – LJ or FB?
Yes, and I like FaceBook better because I don't have to do shit.  I'm really tired of blogging nowadays.  If you look back, I used to be very prolific. Ex. 1, Ex. 2.

What about Twitter?
I've only heard about "stars" using it.  So it's probably not for me.

Do you blog on any other sites?
No. (answer stolen from scarletdemon )


How often do you check in on LJ?
Once a week now.  Like I said, I used to be very prolific, but I kind of just go on, see if people are still alive, and that's it.

What do you rarely or never post about?
I just rarely post!

Have you ever thought about deleting your journal?
I have a few times, actually.  The easiest thing to do is never post.

Have you ever changed your username?
Once, I think.

Why did you choose your current username?
It's from making fun of the speech impediment of my friend's sister.

If you’re looking for new friends, how do you find them?
I type stoopid shit.

Are you taking new people on to your Friends List just now?
After cash donations.   The economy, you know.

Finally, tell us the reasons why you keep an online journal.
I'm too lazy to save things I wrote.

I met John Cleese today at work.  I made him laugh over a joke about Nietzche.  Holy shit.

I'm not really sure what the hype is for this, but I'm really really excited about the movie for Watchmen.  I read the comic book last month and it blew me away.  Like, if the comic was giving me a blow job, I'd be 20ft away and androgynous.  Has anyone read it yet?  Or seen previews?
I'm not a big comic fan, but Batman was always my guy.  After reading this, he can go suck a tailpipe, because Rorschach is the fuckin' man.

Just checking in.  Things are cool, except my computer got wracked by leperosy and I had to reformat the whole damn thing.  Now I gotta get all my CDs back on here.  Bahmmer dood!

I know it's been a while, but I ran across this and it made me laugh:

I am so fucking excited right now.

I have to apologize to, and thank you all for being supportive of me.  I've been kind of a loose cannon for the past couple of years, and looking back, it's hard to understand why.  Anyway, most of the time, I feel fine, but some days I feel like there is some rip-tide trying to take me out and I panic and get super fucked-up-drunk.  Well, that doesn't help.

Anyway.. I'm fine.  For now, but as a small consolation to all of you; I am a coward, and will probably never kill myself.

So.  How's it going?  (insert uncomfortable laugh)  Haha, thanks for thinking about me, you guys (and gals).  I mean, you humans!

Watch her interview with Katie Couric.

What in the hell was McCain thinking when he chose her?  Was he even thinking?  I'll bet she goes home, or back to her hotel room and just sinks into her bed in a paralytic panic attack.

What in the world am I doing here?  Why me?  I don't know ANYthing!  Why do people keep trying to make me answer questions?!

Oh McCain, you silly man.  Then you ditch Letterman for Couric's show in order to cover for her stupidity.

Oh McCain, you silly man.

Bangs are like a pocket t-shirt
Casual, while fully intentional.

-John Linnel, TMBG

Darsu Vadelu!

I'm one of those few people who get excited over grammar. I love using weird punctuation marks and knowing what they mean, as well as forms of speech and verbage (and nounage).

Anyway, I was reading some Hunter S. Thompson stuff at work, and decided, since the break room was empty, I would read aloud. I was struck with the the thought that these very words I was speaking aloud were the very same that were going through this man's head, years ago.

Basically, the wonderment I was experiencing was this (and if you're alone, or just don't give a shit, read this aloud):

I am now speaking the words that some other person has spoken, based merely on a visual representation of the verbal pronunciation of the conceptual ideas in his head. I am totally tripping out.

So yeah, I was tripping out, myself, over Hunter S. Thompson today, but not just from what he was writing; the fact that it was a direct link into his thoughts. That's why all you muthafuckas should learn more about grammar.

The end.


PS: This is a plug for a book which I love: Eats, Shoots & Leaves. The idea from the cover is a panda eats shoots and leaves. But if you use commas in the wrong place, it eats, shoots and leaves (making it a murderer). I love it.

If this goes right, it's possible for a revival in the USA.

Where was THIS John Kerry four years ago? Watch and be excited.

Quick note before going to work: I had a very interesting time in Modesto, and I'm glad I got to see those of you that I did, although my plans were a bit screwy, so I wasn't able to do everything that I would have liked.

Anyway, I'm back in SLO and it's almost time to go... DOONTOON!