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July 31st, 2010

The Joy and Pain of Living DownTown @ 07:26 pm

I live in downtown SLO.

What's great about this town is that it is equal parts Modesto and Santa Cruz.  It's in an agricultural valley in the middle of two regions, it's a university town, it's conservative and it's liberal.  It's also the most fucked up normal town in California.

The place was founded by monks in the 1700s and ended up being the sprawl of Cal Poly (California Polytechnic State University).  So you can see equal parts [normal] and equal parts [insane].  Daily life here is a kaleidoscope of successful people mixing it up with the lunatics of fringe society in a mosaic of fun.

You might meet someone who helped Clinton get elected as president, or you may be obligated by a bipolar drunk to put a gold dollar under the insole of your shoe for luck.  You may get into a conversation with a person about the intricacies of both feeding the United States with the standards of food production versus actual nutrition of the general public, or you may meet someone who has just had a stroke and still tries to fight off paramedics.

You might climb Madonna Peak--or from the city floor, see someone dancing naked atop the giant M on its side--and resign yourself to the wonder of this town.

Yes, living in downtown SLO may have its wonderments, but there is a downfall.   Yes.

At 2AM, you are regaled to Justin Bieber as someone changes their license plate frames in the church parking lot.  At 6AM, you are given a soliloquy by the woman who stops you on the sidewalk to scream at you thusly: GET YOUR MUTHAFUCKIN HANDS OFF ME YOU PERVERT!!! EAT SHIT AND GET AIDS YOU PIECEOFSHIT!  SUCK MY COCK YOU FAGGOT (forgetting she is a female)!!!!!!!!!!

Otherwise, SLO is a treat!  I recommend visitation.
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