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July 30th, 2010

EP-FUCKING-IC @ 05:09 pm

I just saw the most epic comb-over IN EXISTENCE!!

It was a big ol' fat guy in a black t-shirt (tucked in, just to show he could still get it in his pants (we humans strive for those tiny victories)) was walking past my patio and had his hair pulled back in a pony tail.  Nothing big (besides the belly).

Then moments later he came walking back with one of those omega gulps from the kwik e-mart and part of the pony tail had come out of his scünci (kinda like Jarvert when he gets upset on-stage in Les Miserables).  The space where the misplaced lock of hair was displayed my hidden treasure:  A bald spot!

So this dude had foot-long frontbackandsides and nothing on top. [DRAMATIZATION
This, mateys, is the MOST EPIC COMB-OVER! 

For those of you males with the proper length, you may try this at home.  Clip the hairs on the top of your head, then get a razor and shave it off.  It's IMPLICIT that you leave your bangs.  Wear tiny shorts, black socks, and penny loafers.  Also, it is imperative that you tuck your shirt into your shorts.  Make sure your shirt has an air-brushed picture of a dolphin or a wolf on the front.

Then rock that shit at farmers market (with a camera'd friend to document the event).

June 6th, 2010

(no subject) @ 07:59 pm

Thank you Encyclopedia Dramatica.

May 21st, 2010

8 years of LJ... @ 05:58 pm

Blackcurrant Mood: cynical gravy

It's my first time updating this year, but it's only out of the realization that at the end of the month, my LJ will be 8 years old!  Holy crap, I haven't even held a job for that long.

Things are going good, though; I am living with my girlfriend Toni.  I still make ze music and write, but it's mostly going toward a novel.  If something comes out of it, you'll all be the first to know.

How are you?!

November 5th, 2009

Midnight reminder: The world does NOT agree! @ 11:51 pm

One fun retort to any religious view is:  

"Oh yeah?  Well, at least 2/3 of the world thinks you're full of shit!"

What's cool about this is that it works for every religion.  Buddhist, Christian, Gnostic, Methodist, Vedic, Voodoo... It don't matter.  And since 2/3 of the world disagrees, and they also believe in equally ridiculous site, it's safe to say that no one has the right answer.

September 27th, 2009

(no subject) @ 08:04 pm


September 19th, 2009

RaptureReady.com! @ 01:03 pm

It's been a while, my pretties! Things are going great, and I am sort of engaged! More on that later.

For now, let us discuss some lulzygoodtimes. RaptureReady.com is a site dedicated to preparing people for the moment in time where God and/or Jesus hits the eject button and pops all the true believers off the planet and into heaven.  It has every tool you need to be ready!  For example, I took the "Check Your Spiritual Health" test and got this result:

I have no evidence that God does exist.

In most cases, the rejection of the Creator does not result from logical conclusions. The average atheist, if he or she is honest, will cite an emotional motivation for lack of faith in God.

The late Isaac Asimov once wrote: “Emotionally I am an atheist. I don’t have the evidence to prove that God doesn’t exist, but I so strongly suspect that he doesn’t that I don’t want to waste my time.” Now that Mr. Asimov is dead, I suspect he wishes he would have invested time into proving the existence of God.

Most people who do not think God exists betray their stance by arguing with Him. If God is not real, there is no need to be hostile toward Him or toward anyone who believes in Him.

I wouldn't say that there's an emotional blockage that makes me hostile to God (or any other god named God) and believers.  I just think that it's a fairy tail, and it's fun to watch people engaged in theological acrobatics, explaining stuff that makes absolutely no sense.  Apparently, degrading your self worth to a zombie king is the sign of perfect spiritual health.  Moving on, the FAQ is equally fun.

Q: How do you plan to maintain this site after the rapture?

A: I have no master plan for maintaining Rapture Ready all the way through the seven-year tribulation. After the big event takes place, I expect RR to last several months. After all, the internet was designed to survive a nuclear war. It should be able to survive the great catching up of all believers ... Another way to disseminate the site would be to copy the pages onto CDs. This method lacks the worldwide reach of a web server, but it has the advantage of being free from any efforts by authorities to block all sites related to Bible prophecy.

Q: What is Mormonism?

A: Mormonism is a cult that, like most cults, is sprinkled with enough truth to just hint at the truth of the Bible while missing it entirely ... This religion is so chock-full of heresy that I do not even know where to begin with the biblical refutation of its beliefs. One major problem in refuting this religion is that at any time, the beliefs of Mormons can change if the current prophet of the day says that God told him something new. The current prophet always overrides any teaching that has come before.

Could a cloned human being be saved?

First of all, did you ever think that we would discuss an issue such as this? It is a wonder that any person on earth cannot clearly see that we are in the last days. But, to answer your question, the Bible doesn’t mention cloning, so we have to make an educated determination from what we can read.

John 1:3-4, “Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that had been made. In him was life and that life was the light of men.” From that one verse we see that nothing on earth is here for any reason other than the simple fact that Jesus made it so. No human being can possibly create life; only Jesus can.

Yep, you heard it here.  Jesus is in your penis guys!  You THINK that there are cells with genetic information that attempt to pair up with another cell in a female's body, thus encoding the information and creating a new organism, based on the synthesis of the two codes.  Nope, it's a bunch of little Jesuses piloting sperm ships! Here's one more, and this really sums up how stupid this shit is.

What if all of my family and friends do not accept Jesus before the rapture?

The most important thing that you can do is to pray for them. Our heavenly Father loves them even more than you do and He desires their affections and works constantly to draw them unto Himself.

Oh yes, sheep, he loves them so much that he set up a flawed system and shifted the blame onto you and your family.  Yep, he loves them more than you do, but he's also about to toss them into The Pain Chamber for eternity.  Why?  Because he is a jealous gawd, and loves them too much.

People who believe this tripe--that the world is going to end in their lifetime--are no more informed than the people who believed it in their lifetimes.  This has been going on since 33 C.E. ("Common Era" as opposed to "Anno Domini").  Anyway, check it out.  Have fun!

June 19th, 2009

Hello, my pretties. @ 12:47 am

I just acquired a digital voice recorder. Given my now typical lethargy to writing things down, I hope it will psark some kind of lazy muse into generating ideas. I listed them all down, and so far the theme is the actual nature of being. You merely are. There is no past you or future you, there is just you. The nature of time, morality and even math, is just an abstract construct of ideas and concepts. I'd like to write more about this, but I think talking it out lends more to my usual way of thinking as I go.

Maybe this will constitute enough to form a book. I fucking hope so.

March 23rd, 2009

A song for YOU! @ 11:02 pm

I'm in a band called The Pleasies (with a sub-band called The Disappointees), and I found a rehearsal we did a few months ago. Enjoy! (That was an order (PS, this is just a rehearsal!).)

March 20th, 2009

Wow, 2 posts in a day. @ 01:47 am

How did you come to start your LJ?
I started when Chandra showed me hers.  I think the first couple of entries were made not knowing how to do anything on it, or not knowing anyone would read it beside her.

How did you find your first friends?
I don't really know, actually.  Oh strike that... I was in London when Jessica and Marci found me... I had met Jess once or twice before and went to high school with Marci, and when I got back, I was invited to a party, and everyone there had a fuckin' LJ.

Are those first friends still on your FL?
Chandra, Karen, Jessica and Marci

How long have you been on LJ?
March 30th, 2002... It's almost a 7 year anniversary, holy shit!

Do you have more friends or communities on your FL?
Friends, but I have a wierd thing about starting my own communities... relayfights this_a_call bigfatpoo_time congenitaldeath of them all, I was proudest of RelayFights because LJ suspended us.

Do you do a lot of friends cuts? 
I don't really care anymore.  I used to when I was more active.

What do you like in an LJ friend?
Someone who can type.  ....and likes me.

What do you dislike?
Someone who doesn't like me.

What would make you un-friend someone immediately? 
Not liking me.

Have you been caught up in a lot of LJ drama?
Sometimes.  Usually it's the inter-friend hearsay shit.  I think it's only happened a couple of times, and between people I actually know, and not just faceless uzerz.

Do RL friends and family members know you have a journal on LJ?
Yeah, my mom used to look at it and freak out.

Do you also have Facebook and if so, what do you prefer – LJ or FB?
Yes, and I like FaceBook better because I don't have to do shit.  I'm really tired of blogging nowadays.  If you look back, I used to be very prolific. Ex. 1, Ex. 2.

What about Twitter?
I've only heard about "stars" using it.  So it's probably not for me.

Do you blog on any other sites?

No. (answer stolen from scarletdemon )

How often do you check in on LJ?

Once a week now.  Like I said, I used to be very prolific, but I kind of just go on, see if people are still alive, and that's it.

What do you rarely or never post about?
I just rarely post!

Have you ever thought about deleting your journal?
I have a few times, actually.  The easiest thing to do is never post.

Have you ever changed your username?
Once, I think.

Why did you choose your current username?
It's from making fun of the speech impediment of my friend's sister.

If you’re looking for new friends, how do you find them?
I type stoopid shit.

Are you taking new people on to your Friends List just now?
After cash donations.   The economy, you know.

Finally, tell us the reasons why you keep an online journal.
I'm too lazy to save things I wrote.

March 19th, 2009

Holy shit. @ 04:51 pm

I met John Cleese today at work.  I made him laugh over a joke about Nietzche.  Holy shit.

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